Seasonal Talk

It’s one of my “low” days today. You know when I am low on every possible thing needed to properly function? Low on mental and physical energy, inspiration, motivation, positivity, ideas, everything.

That sharp chill is in the air again. On a day like this, all I feel like doing is wear my comfiest pajamas, wrap myself up in a blanket, plop on the sofa (or stay in bed) all day, sip tea and curl up with my favourite TV shows, a good book or even a YouTube channel I like with my cat, Isabelle by my side. Or just plain ol’ sleep! That’s really all I feel like doing.

I am coming down with the flu, so I have been horizontal all day. I woke up around 8:30 am but left the bed around 2:00 pm. This is crazy! But what else am I supposed to do when my head weighs a ton, my body is out of all the energy and it hurts everywhere? I wanted to step outside for some coffee and a short walk around the neighbourhood, but cancelled that plan.

As beautiful as it is outside today with the blue sky and the sun, I know I can’t go out. I feel very, very fatigued and sleepy. I have to go see my parents. I said I’ll go tonight but I am not sure if I can. The seasonal transition from summer to fall is always so hard on me! Does anyone else feel like this or it’s just me?

The season is changing. No, let me correct myself. The season *has* changed. We are full-blown in autumn/fall aka “Pumpkin Spiced Everything” season. Summer this year for me personally was extremely short and uneventful. I still am struggling with the fact that it’s gone! What did I do whole summer?! I can’t remember doing or seeing much besides our week-long Costa Rica trip in mid July.

The time of seasonal transition really messes with me. During this time, I feel miserable, my head feels heavy, my joints and back hurt. I feel very lethargic, too. I also feel like crying, eating a ton of things I shouldn’t and perhaps, also murdering somebody. Classic PMS symptoms at the time when we’re simply moving from one season to another! Yeap. That’s me in all my glorious weirdness.

My lack of motivation and energy to get up and running around today is not all on the seasonal change, though. The past few days have been very hectic. On Wednesday, I zipped around the city for hours. Just minutes after coming home in the evening, dad called with news of my mom having a small accident with a kid on a bike and fracturing her arm. Without having any rest, out I went to meet my family at the hospital (which is in the same neighbourhood I was just before coming home. I was up until 3:30 a.m. Thankfully, she didn’t hurt too bad but she’s in a cast and it will take a while for her to fully recover.

Thursday was a nightmare for a couple of different reasons and I rather forget that day. Friday was kind of the same. On Saturday, I volunteered at a community fair, so I was very busy with that. We also had a few friends over for dinner and Monopoly night. I came home around 4:30 pm and then was up the whole night, even after our friends have left. I just couldn’t sleep! No wonder I crashed yesterday (Sunday) and I am still crashing today. I have hardly slept and/or eaten complete meals the last few days. I hadn’t realized that until I started writing about it. See how writing things down works?

There are days I wish there was someone to not just cook, but feed me as well. Today is that day. Somedays, I envy babies and toddlers just for the fact that they don’t have to get up, go in the kitchen and make meal decisions and then do the actual, physical hard work of feeding themselves. Somedays, I am like that laziest of all Pokemons, “Slaking”.

While I can handle almost all adult responsibilities, mealtime decisions are the bane of my existence. The duty is not exclusively on me; my husband cooks a lot too, but there are times I just wish I didn’t have the need for food, simply because I don’t have the will or the mental energy to make decisions, do the physical work of prepping, cooking and feeding myself. I am a good cook, I am somewhat of a gastronomer. It’s just that, at times, I don’t like dealing with food or anything that has to do with food.

This is why I love vacationing at all-inclusive resorts that offer good meal options. Resorts with “no reservation” restaurant policy are my ABSOLUTE favourite. It’s not like all my travels involve all-inclusive resorts, but when I am aiming for a trip where all I want to do is relax on the beach, go sightseeing and not think too much about meals, that’s what I choose. I do dine outside off-resort if there are options, because travel to me is not just about staying within the walls of a nice resort/hotel. I travel to explore and experience a different surrounding, a different culture, people, way of life, food etc other than what we’re so familiar with.

I/we have cooked while on our first vacation in Mexico. We opted to go for a nice apartment with full kitchen in a Playa del Carmen condo-hotel, right on the bustling 5th Avenue. We explored the area everyday with our feet and went grocery shopping a few times in local shops. We loved interacting with the people and living a little like them during that week. My Spanish isn’t that great, but it got the job done! I like to have an all-inclusive meal plan sometimes, too, depending on the type of travel experience I am going for.

All this travel talk is making me itch for a trip. As mentioned, I haven’t done much this summer besides Costa Rica (which was absolutely INCREDIBLE, I am so thankful for the experience), so I am dying to go somewhere soon before winter unleashes itself on us.

We are planning for a weekend cottage getaway with a couple of friends, up in Kawartha Lakes. Hopefully, it will happen soon! I don’t know, I feel like autumn is the perfect time for cottages for some reason. Summer definitely has its high points, but autumn is magical, too. The only problem is, autumn is also the harbinger of winter and I do not deal with that well. That season and I are arch enemies!

I have been in Canada for 23 years (September 6th was the anniversary). That’s almost my entire life. I still cannot handle winter well. As much as I understand that we need ALL the seasons, the unique importance and impact of each one on our environment and biodiversity, on a personal level, I hate winter There. I said it. I HATE winter and it is already, literally, making me sick even while being two months away! U—G—H.

I am trying to accept the inevitable though because as adults, we must pick our battles wisely, but every last week of August and the first three weeks of September involve physical and emotional misery (I was not meant for winter), internal (and sometimes, external) crying and of course, the flu. It almost ALWAYS gets me before I have the chance to get my flu shot.

By the time October rolls around, (the only two good things about October is Halloween and Thanksgiving, I guess), I force myself to bite the bullet and try my best to come up with a list of all the usefulness of our crazy Southern Ontario winter. Needless to say, the list is always very short. I don’t mind the cold and everything else. It’s the darkness and 3:00 pm sunsets (that I can hardly see because it’s so dark) that gets me.

Well, at least I have my tropical houseplants to keep me cheerful and sane….and from murdering. I am sure at least some can relate! Seasonal affective disorder used to be worse before I became a gardener/houseplant enthusiast (I am not a hoarder yet). I grow different flowers, fruits, herbs and vegetables out in the balcony during the warmer months.

In addition, I have over a dozen orchids of different species and varieties, potted hoyas, hibiscuses, bougainvillea, roses, jasmines, plumerias and even potted kumquat, Meyer lemon and figs in our one bedroom, Toronto apartment. The hoyas, orchids, pothos, sansevieria, philodendron etc stay indoors. The other potted, heat-loving tropical join the others outdoors. Then they come indoors for winter (those that are familiar with my garden on Facebook already know this).

As I lay in bed with flu symptoms, I am inhaling the intoxicating fragrance of jasmines. The plant is sitting next to me on my nightstand. I brought it over last night. I fell asleep while smelling the blooms. More flowers are blooming today. Isn’t that nice? I am sick in bed, alone at home on a Monday and this one thing is comforting me right now. I have my jasmines on one side and my cat, Isabelle, on the other. It’s sunny out, so that’s a bonus.

As low on energy as I am and as “blaaaah” as I feel today, I am not going to be ungrateful and complain. I am thankful for everything, including all the different seasons. The changes and their side effects are something I have to deal with several times a year, but they’re nothing a few cups of ginger-honey tea, homemade hot chicken soup (I really should start making it soon), lots of water, oranges and a couple of Aleve can’t fix. How was your summer and how is September going for you?